I woke up feeling odd. Feeling suppressed. It felt like a memory that I’d held on to. 

It was a feeling of not being able to truly express my self or my emotions. I could feel it weighing down my heart. This heaviness like a a cage around my heart that kept the joy locked in there. 

Thinking about it makes me teary. I knew exactly where this stemmed from. It was from someone that couldn’t stand hearing me laugh. This is unfathomable to me. Isn’t joyful laughter contagious? Not to this person. It triggers the fuck out of them. Why? Because they hadn’t done their own healing... did it have anything to do with me? In that moment, not in the slightest. Did it affect me? Absolutely! Am I now learning from it? 100%

There were times that I was really sad and I wanted to shift my energy and laugh. Yet was then suppressed by this person being triggered by the sound of my laughter and was often told to be quiet and that I was being disrespectful. Looking back...

I have been learning a lot over the eclipse season about relationships and masculine and feminine energy. It has been such a deep dive into knowing myself, my value, how I have shown up in my relationships in the past, how I see myself and what I want in a relationship and how I will show up differently in my next relationship, what it means to be safe, supported and loved in a relationship. It has been huge and I am so grateful for it and the teachers that have shown up that have beautifully held space for me and brought me healing and awareness in a safe and nurturing space. It has helped me to heal and open my heart. 

Over the weekend in the space of 24 hours I had conversations with four other women including myself that had either experienced or were experiencing the same thing. So if this is what is happening for all of us I felt that it needed to be written about.

The women I work with and my friends are all women that are ‘doing the work’. What does doing...