Sometimes love just isn't enough

I have been learning a lot over the eclipse season about relationships and masculine and feminine energy. It has been such a deep dive into knowing myself, my value, how I have shown up in my relationships in the past, how I see myself and what I want in a relationship and how I will show up differently in my next relationship, what it means to be safe, supported and loved in a relationship. It has been huge and I am so grateful for it and the teachers that have shown up that have beautifully held space for me and brought me healing and awareness in a safe and nurturing space. It has helped me to heal and open my heart. 

Over the weekend in the space of 24 hours I had conversations with four other women including myself that had either experienced or were experiencing the same thing. So if this is what is happening for all of us I felt that it needed to be written about.

The women I work with and my friends are all women that are ‘doing the work’. What does doing the work mean? It means that they are looking at every aspect of themselves, the shadow and the light. They have a deep yearning to know themselves on a deep and profound level to grow and transform their inner world and outer world. 

What happens when we do this when we are in relationships? Your partner will either support you, be inspired and will do the same to meet you where you are at. Or they will be triggered as fuck. You will activate them. You will hold up a mirror to their own wounds. They will dig their heels in, not want to ‘do the work’ and will project their fear, doubt, insecurities and wounds back at you. 

While in my previous relationship I knew there were parts of me that were showing up in my wounded feminine. The dynamic of our relationship was that my partner was my mirror. I knew in the moment and I shifted the energy by taking on board the lesson and growing from it. By growing through the lessons, I grew out of the relationship. As heartbreaking as it was I knew that by staying I was no longer growing, it was only going to hurt myself. 

There is a beauty in ending a relationship consciously where you both know that you can no longer move forward together and that your spiritual contract with that soulmate has finished. Knowing and accepting doesn’t take the pain away from the life you thought you were going to have, it invites you into feeling the grief and loss and to feel it deeply to move through it. Like I have always said there is an equal high for the low’s that you feel. It makes you stronger and you learn valuable lessons that help you propel forward and create space for something more aligned.

You can love someone and hope that the love heals your partner in a way that helps them to see their own light but to acknowledge their own fears, doubts and wounds. But you can only meet someone where they are at. Unless they are willing to do their own work and show up for themselves will they then be able to show up for you. You deserve a partner that does the work on themselves and in turn can see you, love you and support you fully. Sometimes love just isn’t enough to keep the relationship together.