When are emotions appropriate?
Appropriate
Suitable or fitting for a particular purpose, person, occasion, etc.:
During meditation and yoga this morning I started to think about why we are not allowed to show emotions at school or work?
It would definitely be seen as unprofessional in any workplace to display any kind of emotion. It makes me think this is a reason that we are so disconnected to ourselves and can often lack empathy for others because we are told so many times that we aren’t allowed to display emotion. Is it why we have so many mental health issues because we aren’t allowed to express emotion? Is it why the narcissistic ones get promoted to jobs in management because they can take a cold hard approach to doing business and managing people and not understand emotion?
I think about the community service workers that are the first responders to a horrific car crash, or a social worker that has just had to remove kids from their family to put them in a foster home or a nurse that just had news that one of her patients died. What about the child that comes to school starving and they haven’t had a wink of sleep because their parents have been verbally and physically abusing each other.
What happens in the workplace or school when it is not appropriate to display or express emotion? It gets suppressed. If we come back to the word appropriate and something fitting for a particular purpose, person, occasion. Then wouldn’t grief and heartache be an appropriate response for the scenarios I outlined above.
Do we need more emotionally intelligent managers within our workplaces rather than workers being hand balled to psychologists and counsellors. You will be surprised how much, holding space for someone to speak, feel and be heard and express how they feel without judgment is healing for anyone. All it takes is some compassion and empathy.
So many times I have heard friends and business colleagues that have gone to see a counsellor or psychologist and they have done more damage than healing. I have heard so many times that these services re-traumatise their clients with little to no progress sometimes over several years and huge amounts of dollars being handed over.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are great psychologists and counsellors out there that actually care and are great at what they do and I can guarantee that those ones are burnt out because they are so damn popular.
What if you knew that you are the most powerful person in your world? That you have all the answers within you. You might have heard this numerous times but not really known how to access the wisdom within you.
Because we have been told that we can’t feel or express our emotions so many times in all different areas of our lives it can be hard to allow yourself to let your emotions flow. You might hide away from them because they feel uncomfortable, but it is one of the most powerful and empowering things to feel your emotions no matter how painful they are. I also think it is the most inhuman thing to be told not to feel. It’s what we are made to do and that is telling us to go against our nature.
Emotions are energy. You can support yourself to help you move that energy. Move your body in a way that feels good. Be in your body and allow the emotions to move through you. Your deep and painful emotions are gold. You can become your own alchemist and transform your own world just by feeling. That’s what makes you powerful and empowered.
Here’s what I would like to say. That emotions are always appropriate especially in a safe space where you are held by emotionally intelligent people. If you do work with people and have a highly emotive workplace then I highly recommend that you have or find a space where you can be held to talk about, feel and express your emotions so that you feel free and empowered.
You deserve to be held and to be able to express your emotions in an empowered way that supports you through life and all of it's beautiful and messy chaos.
Michelle x
