Emotions are there to be felt and released, not held on to.

I have been struggling a bit lately with this sense of well I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s like when you are chatting to someone and you have a great connection, good conversation and they just disappear. Then it got me thinking about my furry soul mate cat named Tyler who just disappeared. Then it got me thinking about my Dad and the man we know and love has disappeared. I guess writing that out I am struggling with that loss of connection to that person, animal, friend, family member. I came to the conclusion that it’s grief and loss. 

I read the perfect quote one day that said Grief is all that love you have for someone that now has nowhere to go. It leaves you feeling lost and sad and well grieving for what once was. 

The grief and loss can feel so heavy on your heart and can even close down your heart chakra and it hinders the ability to give and receive love. I learnt that the grief had been numbing me. Yet I have still been working through the feelings and the pain and releasing it through my tears. It feels like the tears are not going to end. From experience I can tell you that we are humans with emotions and we are here to feel. We are meant to cry. I think as soon as we accept that crying is a natural process and not to fear it then we can allow our healing to take place. Your tears will never end but they will ebb and flow with the experiences of your life. 

Through the tears and the releasing the emotional burden feels that bit lighter each time. As I have felt lighter my heart opens that bit more. 

I got to sit with myself this morning and felt called to play a heart opening frequency. This was prompted by a course that I signed up to where I listened to an abundance activation with reiki healing. From the words that she spoke it landed for me that abundance is love. While I hadn’t fully received those words it landed even further while listening to the beautiful heart opening frequencies. As I sat and listened and released more tears and heaviness in my heart I heard it’s safe for me to love. 

In that moment I realised that I had been stopping myself from opening up my heart and just loving. My heart had felt so numb from the past year I had forgotten what love felt like. I didn’t have the energy to love. I say this with no judgment towards myself because everything is a process. Healing takes time. It’s an evolution and a transformation. It’s growth. It’s compassion and understanding for yourself. It’s acceptance in what is in the present. 

I also realised that I shouldn’t stop loving for the fear of the hurt, grief and loss that it might bring. I don’t regret loving anyone or anything. Even if my expectations weren’t met from the person, animal or experience I am loving. I have learnt to love without expectation. All of life is a dance with the unknown and constant change and you have the ability to love it all. 

I guess we can choose to stay in the heavy feelings of grief and loss or we can allow ourselves to feel through it, honour the person and experience and the time we got to spend with them and the beautiful memories and still love them without staying stuck in the numbness and heaviness of it.

We can give ourselves permission to open our hearts and love again without taking away the love that we still have for the ones that we have lost.

From my heart to yours, I love you.

Michelle x